Daniela's SHORT Tales...only a little embellished!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

so you had a bad day...yes as a matter of fact i did...

i had that daniel powter song on my ipod today and i just keep nodding my head. it wasn't a terrible day but a number of things just piled up and tired me out. so here it goes folks, Daniela's bad day.

so the day started out fine even though i woke up late. i went to my host school to drop off some info so my principal can write me a reference letter. I took some water proof gloves for my student J. because he had to use mine yesterday. i saw him and he took the gloves and ran. that little bugger.* When I was in the office, my AP came and said she wanted to talk to me. I went to her class and knew what was coming. You see, yesterday my principal told me that they are looking for a temp. person to fill my teacher's position while she is recovering from her herniated disk and perhaps back surgery.this would most likely be a first year teacher which means she wouldn't be a position to supervise me for the remainder of the term. As such, I would have to move classes. The way he said it though made it seem as if it was just a possibility. Today, the AP confirmed it. she basically said that I will have to move up to a grade 5 class and leave my little grade 4s. When she told me I was kinda shocked. She said I would be fine because I'm adaptable. I got in my car and it hit me. No more little grade 4s. I wanted to cry. Maybe I just like stability. I love routine. Planning. I even plan my fun. it's kinda sick. but I'm really gonna miss my little grade 4s. I feel like its so much added stress to go into a new class and have to learn new names and new routines. it's basically starting from 0. I decided to talk to my course director. She said that at the end of the day if the admin at the school don't feel comfortable having me supervised by a new teacher i have to do waht they say and suck it up. she really said suck it up. i wanted to cry. the worst part is that i have been the only stable person for the grade 4s since there have been supply teachers since january. i feel good. I can handle that class and now i have to leave. this start to the day had my head swimming and i was more than a little overwhelmed.

I have been attending a class for the last month that I am actually not enrolled in. It is the last class i need to graduate. I did not enroll because I can't since I am not a Sociology major. I have been calling the undergrad Soci dept. since Nov. about getting special permission to enroll. In jan. they finally told the prof (via email) that after Jan 19 the courses were open to everyone adn all i had to do was get a form from their office and have my professor fill it out. So i went like the diligent student that I am the day immediately after Jan 19 when I was on campus. I go to the office explain the situation ask for the form and the girl looks at me like I have 5 heads and then says "we're not giving out that form anymore, the policy has changed." you've got to be kidding me. I was not a happy camper and i think a large part of the Soci dept knew. At any rate, thank goodness for my mac which allowed me to show some other lady the email from her dept. that said it would not be a problem and allowed me to enroll after the 19th. She finally admitted that she had to honor that email (after telling me i should talk to the undergrad director, saying the email was from someone else and not her and on and on). She gave me the form and i indignantly stomped away.

then i had a group meeting and i didn't realize taht one of the of the girls in my group has received the nobel prize for thickest skull in the world. honestly, it was the most painful group meeting ever. we have to desing a 40 minute learning expereince fro our class and it took almost 2 hours. because she was in la la land as we were talking and then when she talked all the inspiration for her words came from la la land. i know some of u will be thinking daniela, u are such a jerk. u always judge people. u have no patience for imperfect humans. u are a dictator. and on and on. but friends, lend me ur ears, everyone else in my group felt that way too. and in fact while she was being thick i took the time to explain to her waht the heck was going on. in an matter of fact curt kinda way but explanation nonetheless. we walked to the bus together and i discovered that she is not even inthe right year to be in that class but she told me it was complicated as to why. it seems york has screwed her. i sympathize. i really do having been in that same place today. but i still think she's thick.

well thats it. those are the 3 terrible parts of this bad day. it was all a little overwhelming so when i got home i creid to my mom. thats right i still cry to my mommy....got a problem with that.....no....that's what i thought. then i indulged in some retail therapy. all better.

oh i almost forgot. when i got to my car there was a ticket on it because i parked in an illegal spot. but i do that all the time when the go station is full and i haven't got one for months. well lo and behold today was the day that they started ticketing again. grrrr.


*speaking of J. yesterday when we were doing a cooperative learning activity J. decided that he was going to jump up and down and spin in circles at the same time while his group did the work. i was not impressed, but he's still my favorite.

Monday, January 15, 2007

the nap that could not be...

today when i got home i planned to take a nap. but this was not to be. first uri called, then i had to do this random thing then that random thing, then laundry, then dinner, then folding the laundry, then emailing so and so back...basically this nap was not to be. So now it's almost 8 00 and i still haven't read anything or finished my assignments for tomorrow.

i planned to blog before i napped but things also got in the way of that.

today i only had 8 students at school because the buses got cancelled because of the weather. only the walking kids came and we pretty well did nothing which was fine because i had nothing planned and also because i was so exhausted from going non stop since thursday.

i had recess duty and it was fun seeing my ESL kid J. throughly enjoy the snow. But he doesn't have snow pants or waterproof gloves so it was limited as far as rolling around in the snow..he enjoyed it nonetheless. I told him i would bring him some winter clothes. all day he asked me when we're going skating...and i told him about a million times on feb 15 but he is so excited. the school provides skates for the kids that don't have them (which i think is an excellent idea) and J. just wants to get those skates on his feet he wanted to try some on today but its not our turn to go yet. that kid seriously brightens my whole day...today on the way to gym he was skipping down the hallway...not just like annoying bratty skipping to not stay in the nice Grade 4 line which i remind them about every time we line up but skipping out of sheer joy for going to gym. i couldn't help but smile. :)

my teacher wasn't there again today. she wasn't there all last week either. she had problems with a degenerative herniated disk in her back and it seems to have gotten so bad she might have to have surgery. this might mean that she is not at school for quite some time and that we will have rounds of supply teachers with the kids. this is rough because students at any grade level need a consistent figure in the classroom. my students must have asked me a thousand times when mrs. R. was coming back and its hard saying I don't know...her attendance has been sporadic all year so maybe if we get a permanent supply or an LTO that may be better. For now, the teacher next door is helping with what she can and giving us plans on a period by period basis....nothing long term. We'll have to wait and see what happens. I'm glad that I realized I can do this teaching thing and feel confident in front of 24 pairs of little eyes because I will have a lot less guidance than what is prescribed for a practicing teacher. I'm so thankful for the teacher next door, she is great and really has learned to balance her profession and her family well so i think i stand to learn a lot from her.

this weekend i did no homework, a lot of going out and a lot of house keeping. all good things minus the no homework.

i dropped off my last (i hope) grad app on Friday at Ryerson. On Thurs. night it hit me that I wouldn't have time to do it today because I had to teach. That was definitely God's providence because with the weather today even if I had left school early I wouldn't have made it down to Ryerson in time to drop off my app. I lost sleep by finishing it Thursday but this weather today would have made it impossible. This situation reminded me of something that I read in a book I started reading called " The Sacred Romance". In the book there is an excerpt from Buechner's "now and then" that reads:

if God speaks to us at all other than through such official channels as the Bible and the church, then I think that he speaks to us largely through what happens to us...if we keep our hearts and minds open as well as our ears, if we listen with patience and hope, if we remember at all deeply and honestly then I think we come to recognize beyond all doubt, that however faintly we may head him, he is indeed speaking to us, and that, however little we may understand of it, his word to each of us is both recoverable and precious beyond telling.

i think that's really clear so I don't have to comment much except that to me it pointed out such a strong intersection between a life of reflective meditation on the physical word (as in the Bible) and the voice of God which is heard quietly in the moment to moment. it becomes so easy to crowd out that voice (at least for me) with all the day to day things which is why it requires effort to maintain those channels of communication open.

just a little bit of thinking i did on my unusually long drive home today.

have a great week!
d

Monday, January 08, 2007

Reignition, Resolutions and other Random Remarks

hello folks,
happy new year!
i like the new year greeting because it fills the void of that empty and sometimes akward-walking-down-the-hall-greeting.
like today at my school i said happy new year to every teacher i passed cuz thats just the thing to do as a student teacher (read:suck up)and to some i even said it twice...mostly cuz i'm socially inept in high pressure situations but also becaue i really like saying "happy new year"

as steve said to me the other night, "this bloggin thing has been in first gear for a while". tis true...tis sadly true. he also commented that delinquents (read:naomi) post comments on un-updated blogs asking for new posts yet post not new blogs of their own. this is unacceptable in the world of blogs according to sub-section 4 of by-law 8. isn't it just like me to quote some random law...i think it is. call me a pharisee. i would just like to calrify, for the record, that i did not blog because of said comments on my blog but rather because i have been with grade 4's all day and feel...well a bit lower in intelligence, a bit perkier than usual and like my language abilities need some warming up before i tackle the next 500 pages of that Bronte novel that haunts my backpack.

teaching. nice transition there...wouldn't you say? it was the first day back today. and since i changed to teaching monday's instead of wed. i got to see my happy little grade 4's on their first day back from holidays. these kinda days are crucial in the life of a teacher because the first day back sets the tone for the next little while. well my supervising teacher wasn't there...that's right she missed the first day. not a great start. but she has back problems...so i guess it's excusable. did that sound sincere...because it is. actually, i was glad she wasn't there. when i realized she wasn't coming in I panicked for a small moment and then i was like...:what are u panicking about, u idiot?"...my inner dialogue is very mean. some say so its my outer dialogue. I pulled up my bootstraps..(read: pantyhose) and decided to do this and do it right. i set up the class and the activities for the entire day with the help of the teacher next door. I was amazed at how well everything went. I even taught a grade 3 gym, planned for tomorrow and basically ran the whole day. the supply teacher basically sat back and watched. it's a good feeling to know that after 3 years in this very demanding program i can do it...i can actually just pick up and teach. my class and another one...where i had to call the kids you in the orange shirt. i guess its the feeling that i know i'm not yet a real teacher but i'm convincing enough that the kids play along and really quietly too. it's a good feeling. my greatest fear as a teacher is class management...probably because i have such a hot temper that i'm afraid i'll just want to scream at the top of my lungs when things get outta hand. but lo and behold no screaming. i am actually a very nice teacher..sans le scream...a little bit of mean looks but no scream. the kids were really happy to see me ( only cuz i bake them stuff for special days...thats what my sister says) but i think its cuz they actually think i'm a nice teacher. i heard all about the christmas presents and family gatherings and that was fun. they also asked me to come in 2 days a week..(ha!) i guess an encore is good sign no?
my principal and ap are also super duper nice to me. which is a bit scary cuz either they love u and want to give you a job or they're afraid you're a little bit nuts and don't want you around the children. i guess i could lean either way. (i kid i kid)
i've come to the conclusion that i really like the junior years and if teaching is where i end up it will hopefully be in those years. i guess we won't know for a while though...since my current career plans consist of " i dunno" "ask the grad school applications committee" or "homeless". at least i'll be licensed by the college of teachers with the last 200 dollars to my name.

k so i dunno about u but i make new year's resolutions. and by the grace of God who knows what a faulty specimen of humanity I am I am sometimes able to keep them. i looked at last years before i made new one's this year and i saw that i'd come a long way. maybe u don't see it but thats probably because most of my battles are fought at the level of mind and heart. at any rate, it was good to see that " in my weakness, He is strong" and a little progress never hurts. there were several things however that stood out like a sore thumb mostly because they didn't get done or were started with the best of intentions and then fell flat on their face me along with them. what's that saying, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" something like that. but i digress, when i looked at those things that were forsaken...i saw the root of a lot of things...things that could've been avoided. what's the other saying, "hindsight is 20/20". but life isn't about sayings its about living...isn't it? this is starting to sound depressing...i spend too much time in the recesses of my mind...time to surface.

so one of the new years resolutions that got left on the shelf, after a couple too many dinners out and snacks help me study times, was losing some weight. not cuz i'm such a a fatty i digust myself but because i need to be a healthy weight for my height and need some activity before my heart and lungs start to grow spider webs. reading is not considered excercise i hear. and then today at school, i t was confirmed that i really do need to do this because one of my students called me fat. yeah that's right...FAT..not PHAT...as in miss ur a cool teacher. the culprit was J. my adorable ESL kid who i blatantly favour. he comes up to me at the end of the day and mumbles in his thick east indian accent " you're a little bit..ppphhttt.." and i'm like i don't think he said fat, he's my favorite. so i ask him to repeat it and he runs away and then comes back and says, " you're a little bit fat". after i laughed a little at the ridiculouness of the moment. I told him that's rude to say to a teacher and he said "sorry" and skipped away. i felt in the neighborhood of a million lbs.
how's that for a welcome back present...needless to say daniela will be hitting the gym soon...and hitting it hard. thanks J.

ok so the reignition in the title refers to the rest of u reigniting ur blogs so that i have something to read while i procrastinate on reading school work. i was thinking that when naomi moves away she should keep a blog so we can still know what the heck is going on in her life. i suggest this mostly because i am horrible at keeping in touch and losing friends is not currently on my list of favorite pasttimes.

this is a long post. sorry. its been a while. school is back so distractions are key.
i leave u with the song that has been on the repeat mode on my ipod...mostly cuz i love coldplay and cuz it's been a confusing kinda week....month...time...whatevs...

THE HARDEST PART
And the hardest part
Was letting go not taking part
Was the hardest part
And the strangest thing
Was waiting for that bell to ring
It was the strangest start

I could feel it go down
Bittersweet I could taste in my mouth
Silver lining in the clouds
oh And I
I wish that I could work it out

And the hardest part
Was letting go not taking part
You really broke my heart
And I tried to sing
But I couldn't think of anything
And that was the hardest part

I could feel it go down
You left the sweetest taste in my mouth
You're a silver lining the clouds
Oh, and I
Oh, and I
I wonder what its all about [x2]

Everything I know is wrong
Everything I do it just comes undone
And everything is torn apart
Oh and thats the hardest part
Thats the hardest part
Yeah, thats the hardest part
Thats the hardest part

<3 Daniela